She looked up, smiling ruefully at her luck. If she ever believed in a god of any kind, she would have been shaking her fists towards the heavens as well. No, she didn't believe in anything. She didn't want to open herself to anyone anymore. Not after what happened.
She shut her eyes and went back to a time not long ago, when everything felt so right. They were at the bus stop, waiting for the shuttle to arrive. She prayed it would be late, just so that she could have a few more moments with him. He looked so grown up, yet so much like the brat she loved to punch.
"You almost look decent in uniform" she said, ruffling her hands through his hair. As she tried to mess it up like she always did, she realized he didn't have the same amount of hair anymore. He understood what she wanted to do and laughed. He then grabbed her in a head-lock and proceeded to grind his knuckle in her perfectly blow-dryed hair, while she screamed in mock protest and tried to wiggle out of his death grip.
After a few moments of silliness, they stopped to catch their breath. He turned to her and said: "I want to ask you something because I may not get the nerve to say it again."
She chuckled as he paused and took a sip of her drink. "Were you going to say you love me and want to marry me and have all my pretty little babies? Because you know how cute my babies will be...right?"
He turned a deep shade of red.
She choked on her water, sputtering water all over him. "Oh my god!" she gasped, "Please tell me that I was wrong!"
He kept quiet. "What if you weren't? Would that be so wrong?"
She looked at him again and thought to herself. Yes, would that be so wrong? She knew she loved him as a friend. Could she possibly love him that way too?
Her train of thought was cut short by the shuttle's arrival. He turned to her and said, "You don't have to decide now. I'll be gone for a month. You can give me your answer then." He grabbed her in a big bear hug. As they embraced, he pecked her on the cheek, whispering "If you feel the same way, don't kiss me like a brother next time." He broke away from her and hopped on the bus.
As she watched him leave, she already knew how she would greet him next time.
A man coughed.
She snapped back to the present. He lay there before her, looking angelic. She could swear he was snoring, as if in deep slumber. He would wake up any minute now, yelling "Surprise!". And she would punch him for pulling such a horrible, tasteless prank.
She waited. She knew the people standing around her thought she was crazy, but she knew better. This was all a stupid prank. He can't pretend to hold his breath for more than a few minutes. He'd get tired and scratch his ear or twitch his nose. And she'd tackle him.
The man coughed again. She could sense him shifting impatiently, waiting for her to do something. She didn't want to move. She knew if she made any move or sound, she would lose him forever. She would truly face reality and realize that she was all alone.
This was not how she imagined their first time would be. She took a deep breath and said "I'm ready". She told herself she wouldn't cry, at least not here. She moved closer to him, caressing his cheek. It felt so cold.
Trying desperately to hold back the tears she sensed would break any minute, she leaned forward and took in ever detail of his beautiful face, wishing she hadn't been so camera-phobic. She would do anything to have a picture of him. With him.
She covered the final distance and pressed her lips against his soft, yet cold lips. Her first...and last kiss.